Sigh

Well, I found out today that I will not pay any less than $1017.00 a month for the type of home I want in the area I want. I want to give up because I do not think I will be able to find exactly what I want. My brother told me that I am putting a lot of faith in money that I do not have yet and that is how people go broke. I agree 100% so I decided to stop looking. I am at a good place and like where I am financially. I don't want to live here forever, but I don't want to go backwards. My mother thinks that I should keep looking to establish a better foundation of what I want and to not give up so easily on the $8000.00 first time home buyers credit...She believes it is a gift. I am tired of looking, it is not fun and I get discouraged easily. My mother also said that anything could happen in the next month or so. Someone could be looking to get out of a house real quick in the neighborhood that I want and sell it at a price that I can afford. Well we will see.

Now about my life. What the hell can I do to change it. My brother said that well not just my brother but he is the latest one. I should write down what I enjoy doing. I like to talk, I like to counsel people like me...lol. I like to do hair, I would like to become a vet, I like the onzie idea my other brother came up with. Would I be happy going to cosmetology school to become a beautician.....would I become the hair dresser to the stars...lol. You know, after talking with my mom and typing my blog I would say that I am content, I like where I have moved to, financially, mentally, emotionally...however, I am not at a place that I want to stay forever and want to continue to grow and move up. My girls go to a better school and that is a stress reliever...My baby is in daycare where she belongs...so work on self esteem and changing my life again...I lost the damn library book "What's REALLY Holding you Back" UGH! I am trying to be financially savvy and check the book out instead of purchase it and what do I do. I LOSE IT!!! I have lost 2 books now. This ADD is killing me and the sad part is, I am on ADD medication!!! Well off to another night of little sleep because I have a ton on my mind.